.little things i do now.

2011-05-30T01:19:00.002+08:00

.The best year ever in East Spring.

I saw this picture and it brought back good memories. I practically ruled 2E5 2003. The 'satan class'. Oh well.

2011-04-28T15:31:00.002+08:00

Question: "Say if you were to get serious with your girlfriend, maybe more serious than now, can we still be friends? Can i still flirt a little with you?"

Answer: "You still can i guess. If you're ok uh."

So there goes a little confession. At least he knows now than he doesn't.

2011-04-08T04:12:00.002+08:00

Things been stagnant for me. Well, not so much. I am not content, i need more.

PS: I miss my past.

2011-03-23T19:37:00.003+08:00

Was browsing through old pictures and i found this:

Then.

Now.

See how fat i've grown? Haha.

2011-03-16T06:34:00.005+08:00

Bali was simply awesome. I simply love the company. I simply enjoyed my time at the Villa. And I'm going to miss Medina Sunset.

2011-03-10T10:28:00.002+08:00

Oh my god. I am so so so so bloody happy. No words can describe my current feelings. The day I've been waiting for, the last day of school. Today it is. I look forward to whatever adventure that is out there for me, be it spontaneously or planned.

PS: I going off to Bali in 2 days. Wooohooo.

2011-03-04T04:00:00.002+08:00

OMG.

I.AM.STILL.EMBARASSED.

YOU.WOULDNT.WANT.TO.KNOW.WHAT.REALLY.HAPPENED.ON.WEDNESDAY.NIGHT.

I've so many things i want to write, so many emotions to express. See, the thing about having your past to still be on "talking" terms with you, sucks sometimes. Especially that only past whom you cherished with your whole heart. You tend to get a lot of misunderstandings here and there. Oh well.

And believe or not, the whole 5-years-love-shit theory about me is true. I finally moved on (though i'm still pretty much "friends" with that f*cker) and i think he should get over himself. I can still do some shits for him but he has to remember that he doesn't own me.

To the same past:

You lied straight to my face for the millionth times. Continue lying and i am just going to pretend i believe you. I didn't just know you yesterday, fuck.

2011-03-01T21:14:00.002+08:00

I'm just so so annoyed at you and you. Seriously , there is a difference between me ripping off someone's money and just taking an opportunity to use someone's money to pamper myself. You see I'm done with lousy Malay mats who do not know how to treat a girl properly. We're not toys and I DEFINITELY DESERVE BETTER.

2011-02-28T03:32:00.004+08:00

Ola.

For the many hundredth times:

I AM GOING BALI IN 2 WEEKS!!!!!!

I am very very very excited.

And yes, i feel like running naked around the villa when i'm there.

Oh well.

I am forbidden to do so.

Anyway, i am not barred from my final year papers despite my attendance, thank god.

And i am pretty much awake at this time is because i just don't feel like sleeping.

No, i don't want to wake up for school later actually.

Had been enjoying myself over the weekends and am just too lazy to go back to my books.

Oh no.

Had our EVM Prom night organised by our fellow coursemates for their project. See the thing about school, it's not that i do not enjoy being in school, i just don't get emotionally involved with the people and therefore, i don't feel the slightest sadness and fun whenever there is such things as these kind of bondings.

PS: Tony took a few candid shots of us and apparently all the pictures, we posed the same.

. Ku De Ta .

2011-02-19T02:16:00.002+08:00

Three more weeks of school and i have been extremely busy. I've never felt so burden by the load of school work. First time i tasted the real stress of school work (like what Nisa said) i fell sick. Haha. So now you and you and you know that i am not as strong as i projected myself as. Oh well. Still i am very very very excited that i am going to end school. Until that last day of my papers, i shall continue to be extra hardworking and do a mini count down.

PS: I want to get myself so drunk on the 10th of March. Hahaha. Macam dah lama tak rasa the feeling of eveything, puking my heads off and hangover.

2011-02-17T23:51:00.003+08:00

You know, one thing that I hate about growing older is that you tend to lose your social circle. The reason I said this is because i am starting to drift apart from my own sinners. Every single one of us have issues and commitments now that we're no longer young. Due to that we hardly ever hang out or contact. It's somehow sadden me that we moved on from our 'anak sundal eurasion' moments. And what i miss most will be that girl whom I've always looked up to the most.

2011-02-10T15:41:00.003+08:00

Movie screening is fine so far. Thanks to one of the teachers that bought tickets for his whole class and for the two movies.

2011-02-09T04:52:00.003+08:00

I've been up the whole night trying to finish up whatever that has been deleted off from my thumbdrive thanks to the virus. I don't intend to sleep and i have a pretty long day later (just like Monday). Dateline would be on Friday and hopefully, with my unreliable group mate, who is really getting on my nerve right now, i can pull through this project. Oh well. I do them last minute, but i do them good.

And really, to my dearest group mate, DON'T let history repeat itself. I've done it once and i can definitely do it again. Just because i may not have said anything doesn't mean you can step over my head.

With your stinking attitude towards your project, i don't think you can survive in poly. In the first place, your GPA is not high enough to make it to poly.

2011-02-07T09:46:00.003+08:00

Good morning, world. I really hope you kids have a great Monday. Though I've not slept due to certain datelines, I feel so fresh. Must be my new toy here. Oh, by the way, as I write, I'm in the train to school. Cool, eh?

2011-02-06T06:02:00.003+08:00

I'm using my new toy to blog. So cool. And yes, I'm very very jakon. Woohooo.
=)

2011-01-29T04:56:00.002+08:00

You know..

it really sucks to be FAT, UGLY, POOR and UNCOOL.

And being someone's shadow really doesnt help make the situation better.

Can i just hide in the dark corner in your room?

I promise i'll be quiet.

2011-01-24T01:52:00.002+08:00

There's a big difference between "I LOVE YOU" and "I CARE FOR YOU". Obviously, some people just don't get it. When i say i still care for him, it doesn't mean i still love him. Please don't get the wrong idea. And oh, don't compare me with you... girls.

My mom: "... Mira ade Tony... Eka ade Hanafiah... Amin ade Mar... Beh si Ain tu... tunggukan si Saiful je... Suke sangat dier kat si Saiful"

Thanks eh, mother. But what's funnier..

My grandmother: "... Tapi Saiful sukekan Ain tak..."

Redundant question. Hahaha.

And when i think about the past five years, i feel utterly disgusted with my stupid self.

2011-01-20T04:09:00.002+08:00

You know, the thing about me is that sometimes, i get worried if i don't hear from my past. So i texted him and he replied. I don't know but we seem to get on each other's nerves all the time now. That night, i tried to make amends for where we left off, but he said my words are too good, he doesn't want to believe them. Oh well. We ended the conversation with..

Him: ".. I don't know what else to say.."
Her: ".. That's only because you don't feel what i feel.. Takpe la.. I'm happy enough you bother to reply.."

Macam sedih gitu kan?
=)

2011-01-18T01:57:00.002+08:00

My blog has been so so dead.

Look out for new changes.

♥♥♥

2010-12-31T17:47:00.002+08:00

What can i actually say about 2010?

I finally turned totally legal, that's for sure. Haha. Nothing bizarre has happened to me. At least, not that i can remember. I still have me sexciting moments with my sinners, my ocassion-only moments with my family and my heartaches moments with my past. But other than that, being older has conformed me into a pretty decent girl. More responsibilities to take on and goals i badly want to achieve. And at the end of the day, i still have to go through the one thing i most hate, SCHOOL. Hopefully, 2011 will bring more fun and thrill in my life.

Enjoy the day while it last, people.

2010-12-27T06:12:00.002+08:00

The meaning of this song may be mushy and stuff like that. But somehow i've been listening to it over and over again. This song makes me happy.

PS: NAK JUGA BOYFRIEND KAYA!!! (and handsome, please)

2010-12-26T17:49:00.003+08:00

Someone's tweet caught my eyes last night. Haha. Was just talking to her about the whole 'third-party-involved-in-your-relationship'. Seriously, girlfriends, do you actually think your beloved boyfriend can be 100% faithful to you? Say if he's not faithful, are you going to put all the blame to the 'third party'? You can hate her, bitch about her, curse her all the time or even feel like killing her, but you see, there's this saying, "It takes two hands to clap." If she is the one that initiate something, your darling boyfriend can choose to ignore her. Obviously he didn't, did he? Hahahahaha.

xoxo

2010-12-25T03:34:00.001+08:00

"Santa Claus don't make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day."

Happy Holiday.. And

Merry Christmas y'all.

2010-12-19T08:34:00.002+08:00

Regret.

A word i don't fully understand.

They say to live life without any regrets.

I think that's exactly what i am doing.

Or should i say have been doing.?

Either way, whether or not i'm leading my life the right way,

i don't have any regrets for what have been happening (had happened) in my life.

Because honestly, i think everyone has a choice to decide.

Even if it's the wrong decision.

Like for example, i gave up my studies when i was 14.

Because of that, i dropped to Normal Academic.

And if it's not because of that choice i've made, i wouldn't realise what true friends are really all about.

Another example, i chose not to go back to school after my o's.

Because of that, i'm still stuck in ITE.

Though i admit i want school to be over and done with, i'm thankful i've made that decision.

If not because of that, i wouldn't have met my sins.

And you bitch wouldn't have enough reason to hate me.

So why regret after you've done something you're not suppose to?

2010-12-13T02:52:00.002+08:00

Wednesday.. Here i come!!!!!
=)

2010-12-12T05:30:00.002+08:00

You know, sometimes it's good to randomly recall back your youngers days. Like for example, who was your funniest relationship. Mine was never funny but i think i was the biggest bitch to _______ (fill in the blank). Haha.

Nisa and i spent hours just talking about old boyfriends (and of course, her current boyfriend) the other night. Shared a little bit about our first ever so-called 'LOVE'. Told me that she hated me from the start because of the whole ______ (fill in the blank) 'thing' between ___________________ (fill in the blank) and me. So i just said, "I'm sure everyone hated me because of it." Haha.

You know, sometimes your biggest 'enermy' is your own good friend. If you were to ever tell me that you were in love with him too, i would have let him go. Everyone might have thought i was the big bitch to interfere just like that, but what they didn't know was that you are the bigger backstabbing bitch.

Then...

Her: "Kau tak penat ke orang tanye kau why you are single?"
Me: "Not really, why?"
Her: "Because i'm sick and tired of people asking me to hook you up with boys. Even Man and Yaya asked me too and i just said aku dah tak kuase."

Thumbs up for your answer to both Man and Yaya. Hook me up with any boys out there, none will have my full interest. Seriously, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING MYSELF STUPIDLY ATTACHED TO ANY BOYS. Like i said before, i don't have any problems with my current status (even if it hasn't changed since a loooooong time). So please, do NOT bother my dear friend about it.

Oh well.

2010-12-09T18:42:00.002+08:00

If i have a fucking cute guy beside me for the rest of my life, i think i would just die. The feelings of excitement and thrill all come out at the same time. In other words, i'd be so "jakon", i would jump around like a little child. Haha.

And news update, believe it or not, she just scored herself a boyfriend. And he offered to take me out with them just so i can find myself a weird white man. Oh well, i wouldn't mind if he's filthy rich. =)

2010-12-08T21:49:00.003+08:00

I really don't look like i'm very close to anyone in the class, do i? Haha. The fact is, i'm not. Hahaha. And i don't even have the intention to be close to them. Lolx.

2010-12-01T19:33:00.003+08:00

Cute, eh?

2010-11-30T19:34:00.002+08:00

"Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited, it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or store up grievances. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth. It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes."

~ Bible Qoutes

HAPPY 25th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO MY PARENTS.

Though most of the times now you guys may seem annoying (and i'm not saying this because i've been the best daughter) but i love the both of you. Cheers.
=)

2010-11-29T16:58:00.002+08:00

So what comes next?

I've been abandoning my Event Project for many weeks now. I have to buck up as my first dateline is tomorrow. That's the thing about being an event student. You need to have discipline. It's all about meeting the dateline. What's the point of planning when you can't finish on time? Am i right to say that?

Anyway, since i'm already here, the other day i was just texting YOUR boyfriend. I can't exactly remember what we were talking about. I told him about how i was complaining about some stupid things to my sister. He asked, "What stupid things?" So i said, "Boys, parents, friends, money.." I don't know how that conversation led to him saying this, ".. just let me be your toyboy sudah.." Haha. Okay, Mr. Lolx. You never fail to tolerate any of my nonsense. Thank you. =)

Talking about boys, the other day i was just telling the two girls about my 'encounter' with the past. And she was like, "Why are you still hanging on to him? Seriously, why?" Good question. WHY? You mentioned that i still like him, a lot. Like him too much that i just don't want to admit that i still love him. If you're asking me about my feelings, i'm just too used to him. 'LOVE' is definitely not the right word to describe how i feel anymore.

Lastly, watched Harry Potter with my sisters last night. I really can't wait for the last part to come. Wee~~~~

2010-11-13T23:56:00.002+08:00

You know, sometimes, you just have to let a certain someone go to finally understand what he or she means to you. It may be hard, considering the fact that he or she is someone you are greatly fond of. But it's only that period, when you have your 'time off' from that someone, you would realise how important he or she is to you.

=)

2010-11-09T06:18:00.002+08:00

Fuck Shutterfly.

My account got deleted and i don't know how or when or even who did it. I'm so angry. All my pictures, GONE!!!

Geram sangat, sangat!

2010-11-05T00:45:00.002+08:00

MY November Babies.

Nad Adam turned 21st on the 4th November (last night was hell crazy).

Yaya who will be turning 21 on the 6th November.

Sya Hunt who will be turning 17 on the 16th November.

And Lastly, MY dearest Grandmother who's going to turn 69 on the 19th November.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Anyway, since i'm here, a quick update about what's been happening.

"That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it. I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked. Drink my beer and smoke my weed. But my good friends is all I need."

Received a missed call from a familiar number. Texted back, "U called. Was it Accidental?" He pretended not to know who i was. I just told him, "U wanna stay the hell out of my life, go ahead. But dnt pretend not to knw me." All he said back was, "Im sorry, Ain. Take care." Fucking bastard, i swear. Haha.

You know, just the other night i asked her what would 'we' be like if i ever come across him again. Would it be awkward? How would we react towards each other? I guess now i know the answer. He'll forever be that asshole and me, i'll be this cold bitch just to spite him back. It's really sad because i really thought we got over that period already. It breaks my heart to even think about him.

2010-10-31T16:57:00.000+08:00

"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

He's the time taken up, but there's never enough

And he's all that I need to fall into."

2010-10-28T21:19:00.002+08:00

Last night was fun. Believe it or not, Kak
Mira and i went to Dbl O. And as usual, it was madness. Just the two sisters, dancing like whores and minding our own business. I love the crowd. Oh well. Apart from that, nothing interesting has been happening. Still busy with my event planning and doing some paper work. Lolx. I did sound like an event organiser, didn't i? I'm happy. At least for now. I'm trying my hardest.

And oh, she and i were talking about boyfriends and how she's trying not to meet him so very often now. Like you know, when you're so used to someone, how on earth are you ever going to let him/her go when the time comes? Been there, done that. I know i'm never the best girlfriend to talk to when it comes to relationship. But one thing you have to admit, i don't lie to your face saying stuff like,"Oh, he'll change one day." I don't believe in giving boys too many chances (because i used to) and no, these boys will never change just for you.

I'm not saying i wasn't one of those stupid girls who was ever madly blinded by an asshole. The difference is, i grew stronger all thanks to him. Girls may say things like,"But you've never been in a relationship for even six months.." or even,"You've never had a serious relationship before." Oh my god,what those girls didn't know was that i was fucking stuck with that same asshole for five years. Isn't that serious enough? Even though i may appear to be emotional- less towards boys, i was so crushed that i really thought i could just die any moment then. I went through the exact same experience as those girls with their heart torn into pieces. So please, when i say to hell with the boyfriend, just do it. It may hurt like mad, still what should matter is that you have all your girlfriends to fall back onto. And they love you more than those fuckers out there.

And babe, when i said,"Aku tak faham ni sumer feeling," it's not that i'm pretentious. Seriously, sometimes, especially now, i really don't understand the whole "boleh mati without that boy" feeling.

2010-10-26T11:50:00.003+08:00

Don't really have anything to say. Just that my weekends were awesome considering the fact that me and the setans had a little slumber night at The Fullerton Bay Hotel. It's like once in a lifetime experience as it cost up to 600 pounds per night. Oh well. Apart from that, i've been busy planning out my event that's going to happen in January 2011. Please, please come and support my first major event. My group and i haven't exactly confirmed details such as the venue and time (and sponsor). So i shall leave the rest of the details for next year. So fun!!

2010-10-19T19:30:00.003+08:00

. back when El-Sheikh was what mattered to us .

I love this picture. Don't you think we looked pretty, happy and pretty? Haha. I wanted to dedicate this post to my only friend who's been depressed for the longest time. But i figured that she's not the only one who is (or can be) depressed. Everyone learned to snap out of it. Even myself. You know, things don't usually go the way you want them to. But i believe that if you really want something so bad, you just have to work extra hard for it. Don't just complain about how upset you are about your looks, how miserable you feel, how you've gained 15kg over the years, and not do anything to fix them (see, i stop complaining about my heartache). I'm not saying that i don't whine like a puny little kid at all. I mean i too, have complained that i'm so fat and ugly time to time. But i don't let these feelings get to me. Because i know i am not doing (or have not done) anything to fix my own insecurities. Fancy me, huh, finally talking about my own insecurities out in the open. Like what i've ever told her, the times she complained about how ugly she is, i would feel even more uglier than her. Because at the end of the day, when i look myself in the mirror, i'd see this stupid, broke, jobless and 'tak laku' girl staring back at me.

PS: I think i've used this picture a couple of times for my entries. Who cares? XoXo.

2010-10-13T22:17:00.003+08:00

Events Management is getting more and more interesting, does it? Haha. Only the first week of the new semester and the class was assigned to plan an event of any kind. Date due: 18th October 2010. This time around, i'm doing my project with Zuzu and three other boys. Oh well, at least i get to change my project mates every semester instead of just sticking to a group. The boys wanted me to be the leader. Not my first time leading a project. I guess those boys will just have to get use to working hard the very last minute. I may seem lazy, my attendance sucks like mad, i can be very fickle-minded and i love doing everything when the dateline's near. But when i do my work, i do it well. So yah. And if you ask, life's still as stagnant as before.

2010-10-12T10:59:00.003+08:00

Second day of the new semester and i'm at home. Well, was out of the house and was half-way walking towards the MRT station when i realised that i forgot to bring my purse. Time checked was 9.45 am and class started at 10.00 am. Annoying. Anyway, haven't really update much here. Nothing interesting or bizarre has had these days. Only that me and my girls had a little sheesha party over at Sentosa on Saturday. Apart from that, school started yesterday and after that, met Afni and Kak Mira for avery late lunch at Bugis. At around 8 pm, i walked over to Tampines to meet up with Nisa.

2010-10-08T19:16:00.001+08:00

I'm bored. Let's go out.

2010-10-07T07:42:00.002+08:00

I love being single. Why choose to stick to one boy when you can have thousands other toys? Oh well. Maybe i should learn to become like those boys. Haha. Afterall, they have that one girl and still keep the thousands other girls.

PS: Last night was simply loved. I am still very much in love with them babies. And no one can ever bring me down when i'm with them.

2010-10-04T04:11:00.003+08:00

Shoutouts to:

Fifa who turned 21 on the 1st October.

Aunty Pipit who turned 37 (maybe?) on the 2nd October.

my Mother who turned 49 on the 3rd October.

Mamat who turned 22 on the 4th October.

Kak Mira who will be turning 24 on the 7th October.

Shaza who will be turning 21 on the 18th October.

And to those who i've missed out, especially my aunts and uncles.

A lot of October babies i know off.

Oh well.

May this month brings a whole lot of new adventures and joy for you.

=)

2010-09-30T22:38:00.003+08:00

Boys, sometimes a girl just need one.

Been meeting up with the girls these days. Nothing bizarre, just lepak. Updated each other a little bit about this and that. And then, just as i thought nothing interesting would happen, last night was somewhat..

101 ways. 101 ways to not be a loser. 101 ways to shut the fuck up. 101 ways to not mess around with the wrong bitch.

Things have been pretty stagnant for me. I need entertainments. I'm through being just someone's entertainment. So please, if you know of any good ones, let me know.

2010-09-29T03:20:00.002+08:00

I don't know what i'm doing without that boy. Three weeks and counting. At least i made it this far. Most of the time i feel like crying. But that's the thing, i'm stronger now than i was the first few times. Oh well. I did try to be the best girl out of the lot. I miss him terribly everyday. But rest assure, i am okay. Because i am Ain. I'm a strong stubborn bitch.

2010-09-27T02:25:00.002+08:00

24th - 26th September 2010

F1 rocked Singapore for the third year. Was involved again. But this time, a different post. The atmosphere wasn't as exciting as before, But the crowd was definitely soooo crazy. Thank god that it's finally over.

2010-09-23T06:23:00.002+08:00

What am i doing, diary?

Seriously, what the fuck am i doing?

I'm so... i don't know. I'm definitely in a mess. My mind's not at ease. And my heart hurts so bad. That's the thing, til when must it always be like this? I'm so fucking sick and tired of this feeling. I can't sleep without thinking about his whereabouts. Deep in my heart, i know that he's happy off with probably ten thousand girls out there. But i just want to make sure that he's really okay. i really want to hear from his own mouth that he's having the greatest time of his life.

I need help.

I think i'm going crazy.

Maybe i worry too much.

Maybe it's time to finally let go.

Maybe it's his way of telling me to get use of a life without him.

But i'm so comforatble with him, diary.

What should i do now?

Oh well.

2010-09-17T16:42:00.004+08:00

See, pinoy-s do celebrate raya.

Someone told me that if i miss someone so bad, i should suck it up. She said that i could also be a weakling and look for the someone. Knowing me, i think i'd rather die of heartache than let that idiot know anything. Oh well.

Wednesday night was simply loved. Though Ria joined us only for a bit, still the night madness. I want to do it again. Soon.

I'm attracted to colours. I swear. I can just go crazy that way.
=)

2010-09-13T16:38:00.002+08:00

You don't have to tell me indirectly straight to me face that you're happy. I hate you.

2010-09-08T17:41:00.002+08:00

Goodbye was his last words. If this time it's for real, then it should be okay.

Counting down to Hari Raya.

2010-09-07T04:28:00.004+08:00

A birthday shoutout to my one and only childhood friend.

Finally turned 21. Cheers to our many years of friendship. ten years, was it?

2010-09-04T05:48:00.003+08:00

Can only see, but no touching, please.

PS: My new boyfriend. Handsome sangat aku tak leh take it.

2010-09-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

So sexciting. GOSSIP GIRL. Can't barely wait.

2010-08-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

One-day trip to Batam. It wasn't exactly a planned trip nor was it a last minute one. But boy, do we enjoyed ourselves. Though we ran out of cash.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2010-08-28T05:55:00.001+08:00

I asked god to send me these A.N.Jell.

Cute kan?

2010-08-26T00:30:00.003+08:00

Free tickets to Fried Rice Paradise last night. Three stars out of five. Or maybe two and a half? Lolx.

PS: What would you do if there's this amazing cute guy that's so into you and will forever take of you but the thing is, you're too in lust with another cute guy whom might or might not be the right one for you.? Would you still risk it and continue loving that guy? Or would you just move on to the other guy?

2010-08-25T05:56:00.002+08:00

She mentioned about waiting for her prince to come 'save' her. You know, i'd be lying if i've never wished for that prince to appear. But i no longer believe that this prince exist. Because if he's for real, then i wonder what ever happen to all those fuckers? Haha. Just a random thought.

PS: And no, i still don't believe there's such thing as the right one for me.

2010-08-22T03:38:00.005+08:00

~ The further i walk away, the more i want to see your face, i'll be by your side til the end, wherever you may go, i'll be there ~

Had my F1 on-site training in the afternoon yesterday. Was okay, the same as last year.

A last minute movie date with Kak Mira and Nisa. Pretty cool dance steps they got. I like.
=)

2010-08-18T05:37:00.002+08:00

I hope to see you soon. And i really can't wait to spend more time with you.

2010-08-14T06:09:00.004+08:00

" At least i don't look like you, assholes. "

Been quite a while since i properly update this blog. Not that i'v been busy, i'm just lazy. Well, not really. I've been so into my own world right now. But that's nothing new to hear.

As you all know, it's the fourth day into the fasting month. Things have been the same i guess. Nothing bizarre has happened, not that i'm expecting any though. Someone mentioned how fasting month brings a whole lot of fond memories for her. But the truth is, for me, as much as i understand it's suppose to be a holy month, there's nothing much that i can do. And my choice of clothing is pretty much limited because i have to be all muslim-fied. Yes, i know, i know. Afterall, i am a muslim myself.

Anyway, apart from the fasting, i don't really have anything interesting to write about. At least not that i can remember of. Oh well. I'm currently having my two weeks of holidays due to YOG. I hope i can make use of this break to mug for my exams. One major paper (plus another paper that i flung last semester) to end off this semester. I'm definitely planning to ace this one.

Talking about exams, September is in a few weeks time. Still as excited. Have to clean the house and start going for my practical.
=)

2010-08-13T15:33:00.001+08:00

A random movie date with Bo, Endi and Kak Mira.

Not bad.

2010-08-08T16:31:00.006+08:00

A last minute midnigt movie date with Nisa. *Thumbs Up*

So glad that we decided to catch it.

2010-08-04T22:40:00.003+08:00

Translation:

2010-07-30T16:52:00.001+08:00

I'm happy enough that we are whatever we are now. I may be disappointed in many way because of him. But that are many things that he's done to somehow make up for it.

2010-07-20T11:07:00.002+08:00

I want school over and done with, please?

F1 training started yesterday. And i'm all excited to be a part of the SGP team again. I'm looking forward to Sepmtember. Like everything's happening then. My TP, Hari Raya, Exams, Holidays, and of course the most anticipating event, F1 and the many concerts.

♥

2010-07-16T11:08:00.002+08:00

I'm over your lies
And I'm over your games
I'm over you asking me
When you know
I'm not OK

2010-07-15T15:25:00.003+08:00

Beauty is DEEP skin.

Ugly is to the BONE.

2010-07-11T13:56:00.002+08:00

Said our final goodbyes to nyayi yesterday. Pretty and peaceful in a way. At least she didn't have to suffer anymore. May Allah bless her soul.

2010-07-08T07:35:00.001+08:00

Baby Iker VS Baby Ozil

1-0

I'm still happy for Spain though Germany was a heartbreak.

2010-07-05T00:20:00.004+08:00

2010-07-01T06:22:00.004+08:00

Dear you,

Don't i ever meant anything to you? Is it so hard to say the two words? You acted as if nothing's wrong. The reason why i said all those things was to piss you off. I was just too angry at you. If really i am that bitch who only goes for guys with money, then why the hell am i still hanging around? What upset me more was the fact that you would never appreciate the things i (would) have sacrificed for the past many years and you would never see how i (would) have been tolerant of your bullshits. You're really a disappointment eventhough i have stopped hopping for anything from you.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

. i didn't know much of love, but it came too soon .

2010-06-29T09:05:00.003+08:00

When i was younger, i remember writing in a piece of paper the traits of my potential boyfriend. A bit cliche i must admit. Tall. Handsome. Kind. Gentlemanly. I've been with a few boys and i've met plenty of them now that i'm older. But none ever really catches my attention that much. Someone ever mentioned this to me: ".. aku tengok kau ngan laki ni and laki tu, biler dah macam serious je, tak jadi.." My first reaction was to laugh at him. Seriously, do i give off this impression whereby when i get a little too close to a guy, it meant something more than just "lepak" buddies? Then i just said something about they're just friends and not my kind. What is my kind, exactly? I stop dating boys a long time ago, so i really don't know. Recently, i've been into Japanese anime and or Korean drama, and there, i just found, the exact kind of boys that i really want. The asshole type. Someone who i can always argue with, treats me as mean as possible, but at the end of the day, he'll still show me that he cares. Oh well, maybe that's the reason i'm not committed to anyone. Because these kind of boys only exist on TV. Even my army boy is a plain asshole and that's that.

2010-06-25T18:03:00.002+08:00

Things have been good and bad all at the same time. But when i think about it, i'm much happier now. And surprisingly, i miss some old friends. I really wonder what the hell could have happen to her? I also miss those times when you made me smile.

=)

2010-06-23T04:52:00.002+08:00

Just the other day, the lot of us went to GrandLink for a last minute karaoke night. We were there to sing our hearts out, we were there to have a little fun. You know, i've never felt like i would burst out crying just by seeing a good friend crying. And frankly, it really broke my heart to see her in such position. The thing about me is that i would never truly understand why a girl would shed a tear or two for some dumbass boy. But being a good friend and a girl, myself, i really felt sympathetic. Because i would or have cried for that one boy who has broken my heart. The difference is, i would do it secretly when no ones watching.

And to NISA:

Like i've said before, i've suspected this kind of thing would happen. I knew you really like him and what he meant to you. I can't hate him because of what he's done to you. It won't be fair because it's you who know him best. But i would start hating him if he tries to hog you or if you become one of those girls who would die without their boyfriends. You know how i can't stand those idiots. I'm more hurt when you don't bother telling me anything because you're scared i might bite your head off. Even the first time, when you patched back with him, i wasn't the first one to be told. It upsets me so bad that, even after all these years being close, you just don't know me somehow. I've said this to Ria, eventhough i may seem to be the kind who would never be committed to a serious relationship, but i do know what it's like to be in love. So it's really okay to run back to him. He knows about you more than i do now.

2010-06-17T06:36:00.002+08:00

Dbl O was it. I never had so much fun clubbing these days. And last night was amazing. Danced my heart out and slutting it up on the dancefloor. What was even more crazier was the fact that i survived dancing alone in the crowd for that period of time. Like i didn't care about what was happening around me. And i'm happy.

2010-06-15T22:12:00.004+08:00

I hardly heard from him since the 26th. And the last time we texted each other, i ended up so upset that i just told him to fuck off. By that, it was the many thousandth times i told him off.

A few hours ago, he asked me why was i angry at him. I just told him that there's no reason why i should be angry at him. Then..

he: " Maybe you're just angry at yourself."
me: " Why should i be angry at myself?"
he: " How would i know? You should ask yourself that."

Afterall, maybe he's right. Maybe i'm just so angry at myself. For this stupidity when it comes to him. Haiz.

Or maybe i'm angry because he's just simply an asshole.

And like what someone said, only i can judge him.

2010-06-14T14:33:00.002+08:00

I just love the atmosphere in Tb's car. The taste of alcohol still lingers in my mouth, the smell of cigarettes stain my hands and the loud music blasted stuck in my head. Last night was simply awesome. And i really miss those times when we drove to Dbl O.

2010-06-12T14:56:00.003+08:00

The thing about fucked up boys is that they would never change. Even if they say they'll try. That's why i've given up the idea of trying to make a boy realises what he's worth. Because in the first place, he's never worth anything. See, i believe that when you love someone, you should be willing to accept what a jerk or an ass he might be. Well, at least to a certain extend. Nevertheless, boys would forever remain as boys. Good boys are never fun to play with. And no, there is no such thing as the right one for me.

♥

2010-06-10T21:11:00.003+08:00

" When i look into your eyes, you're worth that sacrifice. "

Shaza and Tb finally worked things out. Again for the thousandth time. I know she's crazy and Tb, he's just being a Mat. LOLX. And me, i'm happy as long as the ones that i love is happy.

2010-06-10T00:38:00.002+08:00

The thing about me is i don't like to get angry. Because when i do, it really gets that bad. It's hard for me to control or calm myself after that. And no, once you hit my boiling point, it'll take forever for me to forgive you. So i would really appreciate if people don't make me mad. Maybe once or twice, i would still be okay with it. But if it's recurring, i can't always give in. Am i not right to say that?

2010-06-05T14:20:00.001+08:00

And guys like YOU are not worth the effort anymore.

2010-06-01T01:02:00.002+08:00

If there is one thing i could change about my life, it would be everything. Because at the moment, i really don't find any reason to be leading this life anymore. It's not that i'm not content with what god give me, but i'm really upset that i've been trying to make eveything seems okay. The fact is, it can never be okay. Haiz~

2010-05-31T18:18:00.002+08:00

PS: Do you notice that i'm gone now? Or are you just too busy to even notice anything about me?

2010-05-29T02:47:00.000+08:00

. A slut is a slut is a slut is a slut is a slut is a slut is a slut is a slut is a sluT .

2010-05-20T16:31:00.003+08:00

Good things have been happening to me since Friday. And i'm all excited to shared my little smiles with the world. But some unforeseen news hit me this morning, infact the whole family. My uncle passed away due to a bike accident.

To my Aunt,

I'm really sorry for your lost. I may not know him in person but i'm pretty sure he was a very nice guy.

It's really scary how death works. It can happen when you least expect it. And you definitely don't know who it's coming after.

2010-05-18T15:51:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY

to

ME!!!!!!

Though my life isn't what i wanted it to be, i'm still thankful for everything. I can never be satisfied with the things that's been going on, recurring mistakes that i've done and the goals that i've yet to achieve. BUT what matters is the people that i love and have never failed to be there for me.

I ♥ You.

And will always do.

2010-05-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

You had a hold on me right from the start
A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart
My nerves all jumpin', actin' like a fool
Your kisses they burn
But my heart stays cool

=)

2010-05-09T18:35:00.001+08:00

To my mom and nenek,

2010-05-08T17:31:00.000+08:00

That little quiz you girls did.

Your Existing Situation

Creative and emotional, looking for ways to further expand those qualities. Looking for a partner who enjoys the same activities. Seeking adventure and new and unusual activities.

Your Stress Sources

Demands to be noticed by others as an important individual, needs attention and recognition. her current situation is leaving her dissatisfied. she feels she needs to make friends with those who hold the same high standards she does. Wants to stand out as someone at the top of her class and be admired by others. she needs to feel in control which makes it difficult to give of herself to another person. she feels isolated and alone but refuses to appear weak and continues to be emotionally distant from others in order to keep her attitude of superiority.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Feels unhappy and isolated because she is unable to succeed in finding the cooperation and understanding she desires.

Current situations force her into compromise and placing her own hopes and desires on hold for the time being.

Current events have her feeling forced to make bargains and put aside her own desires for now. she is able to find satisfaction and happiness through sexual activity.

Your Desired Objective

Very active imagination and may be prone to fantasies and daydreaming. Always dreaming of interesting and exciting things to happen to her. Is a charmer and wants to be admired for that.

Your Actual Problem

Feeling unimportant in this current situation, and is looking for different conditions where she will be able to better prove her worth and importance.

Your Actual Problem #2

Fears she will be held back from achieving things she really wants, leading her to search endlessly for satisfaction and become involved in activities which are pointless.

2010-05-03T08:59:00.000+08:00

2010-05-02T18:24:00.003+08:00

Love lets the heart sees what others can't see.

And love makes us feel like shit.

2010-04-28T18:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CLAUDS!!!

. she turned 21 on the 27th April .

2010-04-22T15:34:00.002+08:00

Question: How different is you girlfriend and fun-time girl?

Answer: Girlfriend only i can touch. Fun-time everyone can touch.

And guess what?

The next day, his dearest good friend texted me.

What the fuck?

2010-04-19T10:38:00.001+08:00

Someone's just getting on my nerves.

Oh well.

I'm letting go of my old holidays entertainments.

And i'm going to find new sets.

Interested anyone?

2010-04-18T08:47:00.002+08:00

Maybe, just maybe, i'm okay with everything.

Birthday shoutout to my dear friend, SYAZ!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, love!!!

. she turned 22 on the 17th April 2010 .

2010-04-16T21:20:00.002+08:00

I hate being all emotional and depressed and not worth anything.

And the smile is only temporary. God, i hate this feeling.

2010-04-15T02:01:00.005+08:00

I found this on my FB wall. Pay extra close attention to Hermes Ermie's Lover Post. Haha. And read the unwanted comments that she put. Seriously, what the hell? Haha.

Nak ckp balik je, " Ni kekasih lama yang mane satu lak.. " Haha. Nothing ever happened okay.

2010-04-14T13:45:00.001+08:00

School's been tiring. Though this is yet to be my full time-table. Sucks la. Neverthelast, i think i've had an interesting time after school yesterday.

2010-04-12T08:55:00.003+08:00

Boredom striked.

I'm in school right now. My second year kicked off with Design Application course. I thought it would be fun, i mean it's designing things who wouldn't like, right? But sadly, the lesson is B-O-R-I-N-G!!!! Just my luck to start off the day.

2010-04-09T17:23:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really wonder, why do we always always have stupid fights within our conversations? It's tiring, you know. Haha.

Him: "Sexy? Nah.. im not those typical type of men like wat u typical tyoe of girls googling abt."

Her: "Haha. I can so imagine. Not those typical guys us girls dream abt, but still have plenty of girls in ur life. Haha. Must be ur charms then."

Him: "Me? Nah.. well its always u finding those type of guys even though we r together.."

Her: "Come on saiful. U're just making up thousand excuses just to make me the bad one in tt so-called relationship we had. I wldnt do such things in real life. U choose to think tt way just to make urself not guilty of moving on frm me."

Him: "Arent u tired of saying the same old thing... well dats ain... :)"

Her: "Bcoz u knw whatever i said is true. :)"

Him: "Nah... wat truth u want me to say? I dont want to argue over a small thing. Enjoy ur exciting day k.."

Her: "Tak tau la saiful. Can u even tell me the entire truth? U cnt bcoz u always think i can nvr take the truth. Have a great day urself soldier. :)"

Him: "Wat entire truth? U have been saying dat for idk how many times n i still dont get u. Tell me la!"

Her: "U asked me what truth do i want u to say. I just said in the first plc, u urself cnt even tell me the truth. Bcoz u keep telling tt the truth hurts. Im not accusing u of anything else.
Read my msg carefully!"

Him: "Wat truth? Tell me.. Stop holding back.. eeee! Irritating u noe dat! Feels like i want to throw u to the sea n let the sharks rape u!!!!"

Her: "What truth? Im not saying anything la muhd saiful! N btw, sharks will not rape me. Im not their kind. :)"

Okay, so can i kiss him?

Haha. Nah, not really.